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Self-esteem Issues:
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- Acknowledge and encourage your child's strengths and talents.
- Express confidence in your child's ability to succeed.
- Praise your child's efforts and improvements.
- Give feedback that helps your child learn how to improve.
- Involve your child in problem solving and decision making. Encourage opinions and suggestions.
- Accept your child for who he/she is.
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Test Anxiety Issues:
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- Be genuinely interested in how your child feels regarding the test he/she is about to take. Ask them, "Do you feel prepared?" "How can I help?"
- Help your child understand some anxiety is O.K. and can help him/her do his/her best.
- Help your child identify where he/she has overcome difficult moments, such as walking to school alone for the first time, staying home alone, reading aloud in class, etc.
- Help your child replace useless "self-talk" about test taking with positive "self talk". i.e., "I am the only one scared of this test." Replace with, "Everyone who wants to pass the test is concerned."
- Help your child realize he/she can always get help and take the test again.
- Develop a strategy or two with your child that will help him/her if he/she becomes anxious and blocked.
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What would you do if your child was doing poorly in school?
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- Parents who are unsuccessful:
- Mobilize the home on the child's behalf. They place the problem in their own hands.
- Increase vigilance over homework
- Offer to help with assignments
- Implement more demanding study schedule
- Results:
- Frustration on the part of the parent
- Anger toward the child
- School work becomes a contention
- Lower chances for improvement
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Parents who are successful:
- Mobilize the school on the child's behalf. They place the problem in the experts' hands.
- Set up appointments with teacher
- Express concern and offer assistnace
- Willing to do what expert suggests
- See themselves as helping the experts deal with the problem
- Results:
- Relieves the frustration of "what to do"
- Reinforces to child that there is a partnership between home and school
- Seen as advocates for both the child and the school
- Greater chances for improvement
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