For Parents:

 Self-esteem Issues:
  • Acknowledge and encourage your child's strengths and talents.
  • Express confidence in your child's ability to succeed.
  • Praise your child's efforts and improvements.
  • Give feedback that helps your child learn how to improve.
  • Involve your child in problem solving and decision making. Encourage opinions and suggestions.
  • Accept your child for who he/she is.
 Test Anxiety Issues:
  • Be genuinely interested in how your child feels regarding the test he/she is about to take. Ask them, "Do you feel prepared?" "How can I help?"
  • Help your child understand some anxiety is O.K. and can help him/her do his/her best.
  • Help your child identify where he/she has overcome difficult moments, such as walking to school alone for the first time, staying home alone, reading aloud in class, etc.
  • Help your child replace useless "self-talk" about test taking with positive "self talk". i.e., "I am the only one scared of this test." Replace with, "Everyone who wants to pass the test is concerned."
  • Help your child realize he/she can always get help and take the test again.
  • Develop a strategy or two with your child that will help him/her if he/she becomes anxious and blocked.
 What would you do if your child was doing poorly in school?
 Parents who are unsuccessful:
Mobilize the home on the child's behalf. They place the problem in their own hands.
  • Increase vigilance over homework
  • Offer to help with assignments
  • Implement more demanding study schedule
  • Frustration on the part of the parent
  • Anger toward the child
  • School work becomes a contention
  • Lower chances for improvement
   Parents who are successful:
Mobilize the school on the child's behalf. They place the problem in the experts' hands.
  • Set up appointments with teacher
  • Express concern and offer assistnace
  • Willing to do what expert suggests
  • See themselves as helping the experts deal with the problem
  • Relieves the frustration of "what to do"
  • Reinforces to child that there is a partnership between home and school
  • Seen as advocates for both the child and the school
  • Greater chances for improvement